18th may

I let my heart be given to him
even as he runs his knife through it.
His presence is a natural anaesthetic.
I bleed, but I laugh.
Because for those glorious moments,
I feel so intensely alive.
It is only when I am alone,
sobering up to grim unforgiving reality,
that I realize how deep the wounds go and
how much it will take to heal.

the higher i climb,
the lower i fall.
and it hurts.

So here I am now,
locked away in the abyss of my room,
paying the price for my time of fun.
all alone.
knife alongside.
i bleed.



i cant seem to let go.
i cant seem to stop.
help me.
please.